It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
