Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
