Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
