Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
