dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
