was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
