dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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