If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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