Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
