Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize