i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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