I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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