Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
