She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
