bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
