Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
