What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
