I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
