he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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