Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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