There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
