Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
