so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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