How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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