I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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