i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize