TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
