When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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