rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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