Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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