Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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