so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
