the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
