This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
