I think my fart just growled at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
