The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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