Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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