I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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