I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
