He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
