Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
