Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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