Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
