He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
