I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
