I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
