My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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