She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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