It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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