I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
