if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
