i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Damn victory sex feels great
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
