i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
