Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
