i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
