I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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