I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
